The Relationship
Safety Skills Handbook

Stop domestic, dating, and interpersonal violence with knowledge, action, and skills!

This empowering handbook is for victims of, or people at risk of, interpersonal, dating or domestic violence, and the support people in their lives, to learn ‘People Safety’ concepts and skills to help them prevent or stop future violence.
The skills and lessons in this book prepare teens and adults to recognize what is and is not safe in a relationship and to know how to take charge of their emotional and physical safety. This book is designed to be used by victims and potential victims of relationship violence, as well as the support people in their lives. Support staff at organizations serving people at risk of, and those who have suffered from, relationship and domestic violence, can use this book as a tool to foster the integration of Kidpower’s ‘People Safety’ skills into their everyday work. This book can also be used directly with teens and adults affected by, or at increased risk of experiencing, emotional abuse or domestic violence. Cartoon-illustrated social stories and explanations provide an entertaining way to explain different concepts and skills.
Concepts and skills include:

  • Assessing what is safe and unsafe behavior in a relationship
  • Setting effective boundaries
  • Controlling emotional triggers
  • Taking the power out of verbal attack
  • Leaving a potentially dangerous situation as safely as possible
  • Verbal self-defense tactics
  • Getting help effectively
  • And lesson plans for how to teach these skills to others
My daughter participated in a Fullpower program as part of a Victim’s Assistance program. It changed her life forever! She became empowered, confident, happier and has carried her lessons throughout her life. I’m so grateful!
Learning the skills has enabled me to find my voice, and to learn how to set my own boundaries better – to be and act aware and safer, and to be more assertive, while still being respectful.

Table of Contents

Part One: A Foundation for Learning About Boundaries and Relationship Safety

  • What Is People Safety?
  • Assertive Advocacy
  • An Introduction to Setting Boundaries With
    People You Know
  • Building Emotional Safety By Speaking Up
    About Putdowns
  • People Safety Education to Help Stop Domestic and Relationship Violence 
  • The Power of Successful Practice
  • Boundary-Setting Workshop
  • People Safety Tools for Protecting Sexual Safety for
    Teens and Adults
  • People Safety Tools to Help Prevent Substance Abuse
    for Teens and Adults

Part Two: Coaching Guides for People Safety Practices

  • Showing Awareness and Confidence: Coaching Guide
  • Introducing the Trash Can and Different Trash Cans
  • Introducing the That's Not True Technique
  • Getting Centered: Group Coaching Guide
  • Moving Out of Reach: Group Coaching Guide
  • Setting a Boundary: Group Coaching Guide
  • Using Your Voice: Group Coaching Guide
  • Walk Away Practice: Group Coaching Guide
  • Hands Down Power: Group Coaching Guide

Part Three: Explanations and Social Stories

  • Introducing The Fullpower Friends
  • Recycling Hurtful Words
  • Accepting Compliments
  • Introduction to Emotional Triggers 
  • Introduction to Verbal Attack
  • Controlling Our Emotional Thermostats
  • Talib Has a Grumpy Day
  • What is a Boundary?
  • Rosa Sets Good Boundaries
  • Rose Gets Help
  • Mei Lin Remembers That Problems Should Not Be Secrets
  • I Messages
  • The Joy of Being Single
  • Assessing Relationship Safety
  • Trouble at Home
  • The Boyfriend Problem
  • Verbal Self-Defense: Making a Connection, Creating a  Distraction, Lying, and Yelling
  • Putting Safety First

Pricing options

 Price per person

$10 USD per person if you wish to enroll on your own. Use the contact form below to request a discount code that will allow you to enroll at a reduced price.

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About the author

Irene van der Zande

Kidpower Founder and Executive Irene van der Zande is a master at teaching safety through stories and practices and at inspiring others to do the same. Her child protection and personal safety expertise has been featured by USA Today, CNN, Today Moms, the LA Times, and The Wall Street Journal. Publications include: cartoon-illustrated Kidpower Safety Comics and Kidpower Teaching Books curriculum; Bullying: What Adults Need to Know and Do to Keep Kids Safe; the Relationship Safety Skills Handbook for Teens and Adults; Earliest Teachable Moment: Personal Safety for Babies, Toddlers, and Preschoolers; The Kidpower Book for Caring Adults: Personal Safety, Self-Protection, Confidence, and Advocacy for Young People, and the Amazon Best Seller Doing Right by Our Kids: Protecting Child Safety at All Levels.
Patrick Jones - Course author

Book Adaptation and Tech 

Meet the team that brought The Relationship Safety Book to life!
Amanda Golert
Kidpower Sweden Director
Relationship Safety Book Illustrator
Mackenzie Mitchell
Technical & Office Specialist